Foundations First: Why ADHD Strategies Don’t Stick without this knowledge

I’ve seen so many videos and posts about how to get your child with ADHD to do things — get dressed, do homework, behave in public, follow instructions, and more.

And while the advice always sounds good, most of it focuses on strategies — sticker charts, routines, timers, checklists. But here’s the thing… strategies won’t stick if the foundation isn’t there.

Let me explain.

ADHD children have deficits in their executive functions — things like:

• self-awareness

• emotional regulation

• verbal and non-verbal working memory

• planning and organisation

• inhibition

• impulsivity

These are the foundations your child needs in order to manage the world around them.

So instead of jumping straight into strategies, we need to teach and model the skills underneath.

Self-awareness - This is where your child gets to know their own strengths and weaknesses, what drives them, how they perceive others, and how they are perceived. Children with ADHD find it hard to perceive what others think and even that others can think differently from them.

Emotional regulation- emotional regulation is where the logical part of the brain can interrupt a thought process and self-soothe or control how much of a given emotion can be used. As the PFC has a slower developing rate, an ADHD child is dependent more on those emotional feelings or decisions to take action.

Let me tell you a story about myself. I was 7 years old and was having a competition with my friend who got to the highest scaffolding level.(Builders had gone home). I went on the first level, easy to jump off. The second level, mastered, and then the third level. Well, thankfully, I wasn't badly hurt, but I do remember thinking, " Well, that hurt won't do that again. However, my logical brain didn't once but in and say, Hey, it's too high, you are going to hurt yourself.

Impulsivity- waiting their turn, no matter how long. This can impact conversations, playing with friends or just being on an outing and had enough and wanting to go home.

Verbal and non-verbal memory- to remember through sound and visuals what they have done to be able to repeat the process. This would even allow them to change the process to work for them if they can see another way. However, unless there is an emotional attachment, their logical brain won't keep hold of the information.

Inhibition- this was me when climbing the scaffolding. Didn't have the foresight to warn me.

Planning and organizing- this is where many people try desperately to improve ADHD children. To help them get through the day and to know what comes next.

However, strategies need a logical brain to work just like tasks. Children with ADHD need to learn how their actions affect others, how to shift their focus, and how to be resilient, as these are the things that lacking executive function can hinder an adult with ADHD. Knowing how to calm a child with ADHD down from a meltdown is one thing, but how to stop it from repeating because you have taught them about how they feel and why- helps to self-soothe.

If we skip these foundations and go straight to the strategies, they won’t hold.

Because we’re trying to build a house on sand.

This is what we work on inside The Mindful Mama Collective — building those emotional and executive foundations, not just for your child, but for you as a parent too. Because supporting ADHD isn’t about fixing behaviour — it’s about strengthening the brain beneath it.

 Join us from November 1st as we grow the next generation of grounded, emotionally connected ADHD families.

Until next time,

Tanya