How to Help Your Teen with Homework When You’re an ADHD Mum with No Time or Energy

Supporting a teenager with homework can feel like an uphill struggle. But when they have ADHD and you, as a mum, also have ADHD , it’s clashing brains: they’re distracted, you’re exhausted, and suddenly the kitchen table feels like a battlefield.

If you’re an ADHD mum, you already know the overwhelm, juggling your own executive function struggles while trying to guide theirs. You know how important their schoolwork is, but they pull the other way because homework feels boring, lengthy, and has zero dopamine.

So how do you even get them started? Try these ADHD-friendly strategies

1. Use a Planner (but in the right way)

Planners aren’t always great for ADHD brains when it comes to planning out the whole day. But they can work as a visual cue for your child, so they can see what’s coming next and get emotionally attached to the order, instead of you suddenly springing change on them.

2. Stick to Routine

If your child knows homework comes before the PlayStation (or phone, or YouTube), then the routine itself becomes the motivator. No more debating every day, the routine decides.

3. Help with the Question

Some ADHD children don’t understand what the homework is actually asking. If it’s written as one confusing line, they’ll often respond with one line back.

Tip: If you’re struggling too, don’t panic. Ask AI to “unscramble” the question into simpler words, then explain it to your child in a way that makes sense.

4. Chunk the Work

A long essay due in three weeks? That’s almost guaranteed to end in meltdown. Break it into chunks: intro, main points, conclusion.

You (not your child) can even ask AI to split the assignment question into four mini-questions that add up to the full answer. Then your teen can tackle it in smaller bursts instead of one overwhelming block.

5 . Shrink the Session

Instead of aiming for one long homework block, set a timer for 10–15 minutes. Teens (and ADHD mums!) work better in sprints. After the timer, both of you can take a short break.

6. Body Double Together

You don’t have to teach every subject. Just being present while they work like folding laundry, answering emails, or doing your own reading nearby which helps them stay focused. ADHD brains thrive with a “body double” around.

7. Pick One Priority

Homework piles can feel impossible. Help your teen choose one task that matters most today. Even if only that one thing gets done, it’s a win. This reduces pressure on both of you.

8. Use Visual Reminders

If remembering steps is hard, try a sticky note list or a whiteboard they can glance at. This saves you repeating instructions (and losing your patience).

9. Protect Your Energy

You don’t need to be a perfect homework coach. Sometimes your role is simply to create a calm space, offer snacks, and remind them you believe in them. That’s enough.

It’s hard as an ADHD mum when so many other tasks and events are whizzing through your head — sometimes you just want your child to get on with their homework without a fight. And sometimes, when your workload is too much, you don’t fight at all and just let it slide. We’ve all been there.

But starting them off with one of these strategies (whichever one sticks) can slowly teach your child: “This is the way we do homework.” Over time, they’ll be able to do it with less of your energy, because the routine itself is doing the work.

Final Thought

Helping your ADHD teen with homework isn’t about being the perfect tutor. It’s about giving them structure, breaking things down, and protecting your own energy, too. You’re teaching them strategies they’ll carry for life — and that matters more than a perfect essay.

Want more tools like this? Join my free ADHD parenting course - minicourse#2.mp4 - Google Drive

See you next week,

Tanya