Why ADHD Brains Run on Feelings Before Logic (and How to Change It)

Have you ever had a disagreement with someone, only to realise half an hour later it wasn’t such a big deal after all?

That’s your emotions running the show — and for an ADHD brain, this is the default setting.

Here’s why: the emotional centre of the brain, the amygdala, is almost fully developed at birth. It processes emotions quickly and stores them as emotional memories. The logical reasoning part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex (PFC), develops much later — and for ADHD brains, that delay is even bigger.

For example:

• A neurotypical (NT) 10-year-old’s PFC may be about 80% developed.

• An ADHD 10-year-old’s PFC may only be around 30% developed.

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So, what does this mean across an ADHD child’s lifespan?

To make decisions, we rely on a “blueprint” built from past experiences. An ADHD child, however, is leaning heavily on their amygdala. This means they’re storing emotional memories — quick, reactive, and not always reliable — as their decision-making guide.

Even into adulthood, this blueprint shapes how they respond. A neurotypical brain might reach full PFC development by around age 25, but ADHD brains may not reach this until closer to 30. By then, the emotional brain has been running the show for decades. And even once the PFC is fully developed, emotions still tend to “arrive first”(processed quicker) in the brain, making it harder to slow down and respond with logic instead of reactivity.

This shows up clearly in both children and parents.

For children, it looks like emotional dysregulation — big reactions, shouting, crying, or shutting down. For parents (especially those with ADHD themselves), it often looks like overwhelm. The emotions come fast and heavy, and the logical thinking from the prefrontal cortex is nowhere to be found in the moment.

It only kicks in later — often when the guilt sets in, and you replay the situation in your head thinking, “I should have handled that better.”

So what can you do about it?

The first step is awareness. Knowing that your ADHD brain — and your child’s — is wired to default to emotions means you can stop blaming yourself for every reaction. It’s not weakness, it’s wiring.

The next step is to practice slowing the process down. You won’t catch it every time, but you can start small:

• Pause and name the feeling — simply saying, “I feel frustrated” or “You look really sad” creates space for logic to step in.

• Model it for your child — instead of correcting in the heat of the moment, take a breath and walk away from the situation. You don't have to ignore your child, but you can say, 'I just want to think.' This can indicate that you are pausing before reacting. This can support your child by leading by example, and it can give you a break to allow your logical brain to catch up and think rationally.

• Reframe the moment — ask yourself: “What else could this mean?” or “If I looked at this logically, what would I see?” Over time, reframing helps build a stronger bridge between emotions and logic.

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The Emotional Default System (EDS) framework is all about this bridge. It reminds us that emotions will always arrive first, but with the right awareness and practice, logic can join the conversation. For both parent and child, this turns “reacting” into “responding.”

This may seem hard work- it can feel like it for ADHD brains because it is a task; however, brains can be re-wired, and you can help yourself to think differently, one thought at a time. Start small, as the more you do it with the small things, the bigger things will be easier to cope with.

Click on the EDS framework to learn more, and I will see you next week.

Tanya