Why Praise Works Differently for ADHD Brains (and What Actually Helps)- a quick reader.

People with ADHD don’t struggle because they don’t try hard enough. They struggle because feedback lands differently.

Dopamine doesn’t linger in the ADHD brain. This means moments of success, pride, or confidence can fade quickly, while mistakes often stick around much longer. The emotional dysregulation of the executive function leaves the ADHD struggling to soothe itself.

When someone with ADHD is told they’ve made a mistake, even gently, it can trigger a disproportionate drop in self-esteem. The logical brain may understand it was small, but emotionally it can linger as “I always get it wrong.”

This is why value matters so much.

Praise is important, but how we praise matters even more.

Over-praising can backfire. Generic praise (“You’re amazing”, “You did great”) can feel empty or even uncomfortable, especially for ADHD mums who already feel stretched.

What works better is descriptive appreciation.

Instead of:

• “Well done!”

Try:

• “I noticed you stayed calm when that was really hard.”

• “Thank you for following through, I know that took effort.”

• “I can see the thought you put into that.”

Description helps the ADHD brain:

• see exactly what worked

• connect effort to outcome

• recreate the behaviour in other areas

• 
  

And most importantly, thanks and appreciation matters.

Being appreciated helps create a positive dopamine response and gives clarity about what the outcome looked like from the outside. That clarity is what supports growth, not pressure.

ADHD doesn’t need more correction.

It needs clear value, seen effort, and realistic recognition.

That’s where confidence actually grows.